My Immortal
by Benji's Riot Gurl
Summary: Evanescence songfic; Reggie mourns the death of Lars. Please RR.


Rocket Power belongs to (and is being neglected by) Klasky-Csupo, and "My Immortal" belongs to Evanescence. I know, I write a lot of song fics, but I listen to a lot of music.  
  
Reggie is 27, and Lars would be 28, Otto is 26, and Twister would also be 26. When Reggie was in high school, Lars ditched his buddies and became friends with the gang, and he and Reggie went out. They got married when Reggie was 25 and Lars was 26.  
  
---MY IMMORTAL---  
  
Reggie awoke on a rainy Monday morning after another bad dream. In the dream, she dreamt that she and her husband, Lars were driving to Otto and Clio's house. They were talking to each other, talking about starting a family. It was something that they had wanted for awhile. Just then, the car got rear-ended by a drunk driver. The car skidded forward and tipped on the driver's side. Reggie's eyes grew wide as she saw Lars's eyes do the same, then his head slammed right on the side window, the glass shattering in a million little pieces. Before she knew it, Lars's head was a bloody mess and his eyes were closed shut. She was hanging onto the door handle to keep the seatbelt from strangling her while she hung there.  
  
However, that dream was just a reenactment of two weeks before. Everything that happened in the dream happened in real life. After someone called 911, the ambulance came and rescued Reggie. She had a few bruises on her, but she was OK. On the other hand, Lars had a huge gash across the side of his head, blood seeping out by the gallons. The EMTs wrapped it up to try to stop the bleeding as they listened to Lars's heart. It was still beating, but he wouldn't stop bleeding; he was losing too much blood. It appeared as if he wouldn't make it. Reggie rushed over to him and held his hand as tears rushed to her eyes. The last thing she wanted to lose was Lars, and in the condition he was in, only a miracle could save him. Reggie thought that that miracle was coming, because Lars's eyes slowly started to flutter open.  
  
"Reggie," he said quietly.  
  
"I'm here," she said as a weak smile spread across his face.  
  
"I love you," said Lars quietly, then his eyes closed shut.  
  
"Lars?" Reggie said as she began to cry again. The EMTs listened to Lars's heartbeat once again, and frowned as it got slower and slower.............  
  
~I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears~  
  
Reggie lied in her bed, tears flowing to her eyes. Lars wasn't lying in the bed beside her, all because some drunk kid decided to drive. (A/N: Let this be a lesson, kids!) Every morning, when Reggie awoke without her husband lying next to her, the anger built up inside. She got very tired of waking up without Lars, and very tired of spending her days without him. Life was no fun for her anymore; she just woke up, went to work, came home, ate, and slept. She had no one to love on, no one to hold her, which was new to her. She and Lars had been together for ten years, and they had loved each other deeply. The love banished Reggie's lifelong fear of dying alone. But now he was gone, and that fear suppressed her again.  
  
~And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave~  
  
Every moment of the day, Reggie thought about Lars. Day in and day out, she thought about their past, from the times when he and his friends made fun of her, to his last moments lying his own blood. Those last moments always brought tears to Reggie's eyes; they were the worst moments of her life. She'd never forget when he closed his eyes and his grip on her hand loosened. She could still hear him saying his last, "I love you", then the EMTs pronouncing him dead.  
  
Reggie could never let go of it; she was suffering greatly from her loss. Why did he have to leave? And worst of it all, she couldn't get over it. She was in deep pain every waking moment, and in her dreams as well. She loved Lars and would never forget him, but deep down, she wanted the pain to go away. She wanted to move on, but simply couldn't. She wished that she could, that the constant painful thoughts of him would just disappear.  
  
~Your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone~  
  
That afternoon, Reggie sat at her office at the local newspaper company. She was one of their top writers and held a high place in the company, but none of that mattered. She would have given it all up in a heartbeat just to have Lars back. She looked up on the wall, and next to her certificates, was the framed article of the accident that had claimed Lars's life. It seemed as if every place she went, Lars was there. But it didn't feel good; it didn't feel as if he were holding her. It felt as if he was there, but she couldn't have him, like when you have a crush in school that you're too scared to talk to. That was exactly the feeling Reggie had every day, that feeling wouldn't leave her alone.  
  
~These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
There is a saying, that time will eventually heal the pain, but Reggie didn't believe in that saying. She was hurting so much inside, and nothing made it better. She did visit Otto and Clio, who were married, but no progress. Otto and Clio had a one-year old son named David, and as much as Reggie loved her nephew, his presence brought her to tears. He reminded her of what she and Lars were discussing right before the accident. There she went again, thinking about Lars. She had thought of Lars more than anything else, but she had been with Lars for so long, they had had so much history, she couldn't just push him out of her thoughts.  
  
~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me~  
  
Reggie remembered when they first went out, Reggie was 17, and Lars was 18. They had been going out for a couple months, when tragedy hit the Rodriguez household. After getting teased in school just like he had everyday for the past three years, Twister gave up. Lars went into Twister's room to ask if he could borrow a CD, when he saw Twister lying on his floor, his blood staining the carpet. He had a knife stuck right in his chest. It was clear that he had committed suicide. Seeing his brother like this had scarred Lars deeply, and it took him awhile to get over it. However, Reggie was always there for him. She comforted him and would sometimes spend the night at his house. When Lars slept, sometimes he would dream about Twister and would wake up in a cold sweat, and sometimes even screaming, and Reggie would hold him and give him words of comfort. She would hold him while hearing his rapid heartbeat, and she wouldn't stop until she calmed him down and got him sleeping again.  
  
Reggie and Lars were close, but Twister's death brought them closer. It was a rough time for Lars, and it broke Reggie's heart to see him like that. Sure, she, Sam, and Otto were also upset, because it was Twister, he was one of their best friends, but Lars was his brother. It was just a sibling thing, Reggie knew that if Otto died, she'd be extremely upset too. There was also the fact that Lars had made fun of Twister for most of life, so there was only a short period of time where he and Lars got along. Then, the fact that Twister killed himself, that was the last piece of the puzzle. Twister could have still been alive, if he had simply reached out for help. Twister's death was so hard for Lars, but Reggie helped to ease the pain. She held Lars's hand through the whole thing, which he appreciated, because he told Reggie that the night that he proposed to her. Reggie and Lars both had a special place in their hearts for each other, and even after death, Lars was still a part of Reggie.  
  
~You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind~  
  
Lars had a special place in Reggie's heart; there was no doubt about that. Whenever she saw him, even right after Twister died, she just saw this light around him, this sense of joy that she couldn't describe. She loved being around him; everything seemed to make so much sense when she was around him. But now, he was gone, and it seemed as if everything were falling apart. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, and it seemed as if nothing ordinary ever happened. Everything that happened somehow linked to Lars in her head, somehow, someway. She could not get over his death, her life felt so complete with him, but without him, what was next?  
  
~Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me~  
  
Every night, Reggie dreamt about Lars, whether it was a reenactment of the accident, or if it was about him coming back to life. Of course, if he did come back to life, something would always come and take him away again. One time she dreamt that he came back to life, but then he was murdered. Reggie couldn't remember the last time that she had a good dream, because ever since Lars died, her dreams were tragic. Whenever she saw his face, she was haunted and her heart hurt. She couldn't get over what she had lost. Sometimes, she could even hear his voice; she could still hear him saying "I love you", just like he had just before he died. At night, before she went to sleep, she could sometimes hear him and she would look over at the other side of the bed, where he was not lying. She would cry herself to sleep every night, and she felt as if she were gong insane without him. She would have given anything for him to be lying in the bed next to her.  
  
~These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
When Reggie got home from work that afternoon, she put down her stuff and sat on the couch. She picked up the picture of her and Lars at their wedding, and tears glistened her eyes. They were so happy in that picture, and they had sworn under oath to love each other until death parted them. Little did they know that that was only two years down the road. She still loved him, she knew that she would love him forever, and she swore to herself the night he died that she'd never fall in love again. Love, just like time, could not erase what she and Lars had had. She wondered if the pain she felt would last forever, though she knew that she would always miss Lars. Reggie had never felt so much pain as she had over the past two weeks, and she hated every part of it. She loved Lars more than anybody, and he was taken away from her, the wounds hurt more and more each day.  
  
~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me~  
  
Reggie and Lars had traveled a long and winding road together, hand in hand the whole time. Whenever one of them went under, the other was always there to pull them back up. Now, they were apart, and Reggie couldn't bare it. She put down the picture and decided to go visit him, in the Ocean Shores Community Cemetery. She got in her car and made the drive, then walked around, looking at all the graves, until she got to the Rodriguez family circle. She saw Twister's grave, and stopped to look at it. It had been 10 years since he was gone, but time healed the pain. She looked next to it, and gazed upon her husband's grave. She sat down on it, and read the inscription like she had a million times. She began to cry as she said "I miss you, Lars," quietly. She cried uncontrollably, her tears streaming down her face and hitting the ground.  
  
~I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along~  
  
Reggie couldn't believe it, Lars was gone. For the past two weeks, she had told herself over and over that he was gone, she still felt him being around her. Lars was a part of Reggie, and she felt that when he died, a part of her died with him. She was still alive, and it felt as if a part of him were still alive, because he was in her heart. But still she hated it; she wanted all of him with her. She still felt deep down as if he were still there, but she had to tell herself that she would never see him for the rest of her life, and it made her cry even harder. Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She wished that it was Lars's hand, but she knew that it wasn't. She turned around, to see Clio standing above her.  
  
"He loved you," said Clio as she sat down next to her widow-friend. "He really did," she continued.  
  
"Why him?" asked Reggie. "Why couldn't I have died instead?"  
  
"Don't say that," said Clio. "Besides, then he would be feeling what you feel right now."  
  
"But he'd still be alive," Reggie continued to sob.  
  
"Yeah, but he's in a better place now, and he can watch you from up there," said Clio. "He's always watching you; he's still taking care of you." She hugged her friend, then they stood up. "C'mon, come have dinner with Otto and me." Reggie glanced at the grave once more, and knew that she would be back. Clio headed towards her car, giving Reggie a moment alone.  
  
"I love you, Lars," said Reggie quietly. She then turned and went to her car, where she followed Clio out of the graveyard.  
  
~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me~  
  
-------THE END-------  
  
Merry Christmas, people! Please read and review! 


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